21 Sep Happiness is a Verb
(…and a Habit)
We all have some bad habits, but what about good habits? Once we establish and feed our good habits, they become very engrained in our daily life and outlook. Becoming happier, means creating habits to take us there. The more we can practice happiness habits, the more likely we are to become happier. Make sense? Let’s explore.
- One of the first habits we can establish, and one that is easy, is to Smile more. We have the opportunity to offer a smile constantly throughout our day, so make the conscious effort to do it. Do it enough and you’ll generate Dopamine in your brain, and that feels great. Have you forgotten how to do it? That should be your first clue. Look at yourself in the mirror or on your smartphone camera…. Try it, practice it, master it. It is not that difficult.
- Get your Sleep. Sleeping about 8 hours a night will work wonders for your happiness because it regenerates your body and mind. Like plugging in your Tesla, it reinvigorates and recharges you. There are plenty of studies that show adequate sleep offers reduction in disease and chronic illness. How to do it? Track it! Jot down a note before and after sleeping and quantify the quality of the sleep you just experienced. Was it a 1, a 4 or a 10? The point of this exercise is to create an ongoing method for watching your sleep practice improve gradually. Take some quiet time for yourself before bed, read or bathe. Keep the bedroom quiet and dark, and if you can spend some extra cash on really comfortable and luxurious bedding. You’ll likely be surprised at just how much this will help you off to slumberland.
- Get Active. If you can exercise, your body will reward you with reduced stress, depressive thoughts and happiness overall. Don’t get too involved with dramatic and excessive practices – instead, maintain an easy routine that you can do consistently. Things like yoga, strolls, tai chi and stretching are great ways to get started. Maybe you would enjoy something else, such as a weekly ballroom dancing course, or whatever you’ve been wanting to try. The key is to choose something you can be consistent about.
- Complex carbohydrates such as veggies, whole grains and beans, can release serotonin the “Feel Happy” hormone. But don’t go too heavy on simple carbs, those high in starch and sugar because the lift they give often result in a crash shortly thereafter. If you eat meat, it should be lean meat. Chicken is a good example. Diary and various legumes are also good. Together, these stimulate dopamine and norepinephrine, boosting our energy and ability to concentrate. Fish, particularly fatty fish like salmon, add an anti-inflammatory effect, extending general health for the brain. Avoid, as a general rule, deep fried foods of any type, as they can bring your emotional state downward shortly after consumption.
- Be Grateful and be Expressive About it. Your mood will get a real charge out of demonstrating and expressing gratitude. Some studies have found that upswings in a sense of hopefulness and happiness are associated with the practice of being grateful. Make it a point to look for things or events or people in your day that you are grateful for. Is it a loved one, a co-worker, a wonderful scenic setting? Maybe it is recognizing in yourself that you are really good at something? If so, say it to yourself as you realize it. It only takes a week or so of paying attention to your surroundings that you will soon become rather adept at it, and you will likely feel happier in general as you continue to practice expressing gratitude.
- Practice Kindness and giving Compliments. When you offer praise, it does something very powerful for both people in the equation. It boosts both of you! Look for physical ques when you offer your compliment and you will likely see their eyes brighten. This “exchange” will brighten your eyes too because you will feel the power of your action immediately. Even small acts of kindness will also make you feel happier. We all enjoy being treated kindly, and an unexpected kindness can be very pleasing to both parties.
- Recognize when you are Unhappy. Sh*t happens. Let’s face it, we can’t go about denying when something painful, sad or troubling occurs. Rather than denying it, accept that it is a negative that has crept into your otherwise pleasant life. Experience the unpleasantness long enough to appreciate that it is real…but then move on by “reframing” the situation from what brought this unhappiness, to what you will do to get beyond it. Remember that it is unheard of to be happy ALL of the time.
- Write it Down. Maybe the last time you wrote in a journal was in high school, but you can reapply this habit for increasing happiness in your current circumstances. By writing down your thoughts you can review and assess in a calmer way the feelings and effects of the day’s events. You might find that you come up with a few ideas about how you will do things differently? Or, you might use it to recall things you are grateful for, and then give yourself a little credit (see item 5 above).
- You are Different- Don’t Compare. We can be overly quick to compare ourselves with others around us… they are more fit, or more intelligent, or more… well, you get the picture. Comparing ourselves to others is likely to cause discomfort or distress, depression or even anxiety. When you begin “self talking” about how you are less fortunate or glamorous etc. than someone else, stop and remind yourself that you are your own person, distinct and valuable just as you are. Maybe do a couple of minutes of some slow and concentrated deep breathing, relaxing your inner self-judgement. Then go about your business. After you have done this a number of times, it becomes second nature: kind of like a self-healing intervention.