26 Jul Betrayal Trauma has a Half-Life

Can I ever get over it?

Feeling betrayed is one of the most profoundly affecting experiences humans can feel. Getting beyond it means doing with the help of others, lest we be locked down and subject to recurring emotional triggers. Most people will feel defeated, depressed, distrustful, and in many cases may even feel they have lost their lust for life. Fears include feeling that a deeply committed and loving relationship may never be possible again. We have to work towards relearning that what we believe broke us, can also repair us, and that it is very possible that we develop deep and meaningful relationships again.

Can I cope with betrayal of a friend?

A friend betrays you? A Loved one? A Co-worker? You probably thought highly of this person and valued greatly the relationship, and it is often this that makes betrayal so painful and enduring. Finding and planning for how the people who are our support system can help us to move forward is essential. These can be family, friends and others who will listen and encourage you to talk through all the confusing thoughts and feelings. Most important is to find a licensed professional to help you find your way back to comfort. This type of relationship will help you to avoid the games even our most caring of friends can play – such as manipulation, deceit and a general inconsideration of your feelings. It requires some careful management so our “supporters” are not inadvertently prolonging your new status as the “betrayed.”

What about betrayal in my own family?

When you live with the person or family constellation where betrayal has occurred it can be very difficult to manage on a daily basis. In such a situation, the “betrayed” often does not have the ability to find one’s own space and distance that is often needed to consider one’s circumstance. Work, school, child rearing and a host of other practical requirements intervene in our healing process, and this can be very trying without professional assistance. At the Center for Healthy Change, we suggest a helping hand is the most effective way to navigate back to where you want to be.