06 Aug The Self-Hijack of Self-Talk

We all have an inner voice that is critical of ourself.  Sometimes it can even be helpful, such as when it serves as a check on our behavior or attitude.  Afterall, how would we know when we are stepping out of line and doing something contrary to our values?  But, there is another type of self talk, and that is when we allow negative self-talk to take control of our circuits and become self- pummeling and self-shaming.  If we are going to recover from traumatic experiences, we can’t let our negative self talk creep into our “daily normal.”  

First of all, everyone experiences negative self talk from time to time.  Have you ever found yourself saying “sheesh, this just keeps getting worse and worse,” or perhaps “boy am I dumb, making that mistake over and over and over again?”  The message you have inside your head is probably unique to you, and you probably have been carrying it around for quite some time – it’s like having your own personal bully.  Don’t despair, the mental circuitry of the human brain has this wired inside itself.  Because we all seek connection, self talk regarding how we think we might be perceived by others can really throw a wrench into our sense of self worth.  And, we can reinforce the negative statement(s) if we develop a cycle of negative thought.

Have you ever heard the notion that “if you think you will fail, then you are right?”  This is because of our brain’s neuroplasticity.  When we continually speak ill of ourselves – to ourselves – our brain wires-in that expectation.  When an association is wired in, then our brains will find ways to prove it is a fact.  But there’s more: if it is a negative self talk statement, our brains will actually seek out opportunities find additional, related negative perceptions of ourselves.  Maybe “nobody really likes me” gives rise to “people are avoiding me.”  Left unchecked, we can become engulfed, feeling we can’t break loose of it.  There are numerous skills and techniques to re-wire our negative self talk circuits:  We have an ability to re-reason what we are doing if we can only become skilled at recognizing what we are doing to ourselves.  At the Center, we work out ways to change up this self torture so that you can move forward in a way you’d prefer.  Shall we chat?  You know where we are.