You Get What You Focus On
- I can’t stop smoking. I keep trying to quit, but I just can’t do it.
- I need to get exercise, but I just don’t have time.
- I will never have a fulfilling relationship.
- I just can’t, don’t, or won’t ever ……
The natural tendency of human beings is to seek what makes sense to them, and then make it fit it into our current understanding of reality. So, if we believe we can’t do something, we will seek out information or situations that validate that belief.
Changing our focus does not change the external reality of our world; however, it does change our “internal” understanding of our reality. Being aware of our focus helps us to take responsibility for what we believe is possible in our lives and gives us the energy to create what we want instead of recreating what we don’t want. Consider the following examples of a change in focus (Note that the external reality is not different, just the focus!):
- I have tried to quit smoking in the past; maybe I haven’t found the method that works for me!
- Exercise helps me feel better, what are options within my busy schedule
- I want a fulfilling relationship.
- I want, I can, and I do know the answers.
If you believe you can’t do something, even if you begin to experience some level of progress, you still are not likely change your perspective, and will in most cases fall back to what you believe. It is also quite possible that you will find a way to verify, confirm or otherwise force-fit it to your current reality and belief systems.