15 Jul A Communique’ on Communication

Our relationships do not have to be so difficult.  One simple “fix” is communicate!  So many times people come into counseling saying their partner does not meet their needs.  The first thing I ask is, “have you said this to your partner?”  More often than not I hear “well not really,” or “they should know after all this time!”  The truth is we either begin relationships with poor communication or we develop poor communication patterns over time.  Sometimes it is just a matter of using simple strategies such as listening, or using “I statements.”   Effective Communication Strategies – Using “you” messages tends to put people on the defensive. If we feel someone is blaming or attacking we will become defensive.  It’s part of our natural defense drive.  As animals we are wired to protect ourselves! Once someone becomes defensive or angry it becomes more difficult to have effective communication because we are fighting against nature.  See some really useful strategies in the next blog post!